Thursday, November 11, 2010


I have never thought that somewhere along the line, I would have to make sacrifices, let go of people I once thought I loved or draw clear boundaries on how far people could go in their dealings with me. Always the typical fence sitting romantic and idealist, I thought that maybe if I just buried my head ostrich style in the sand, some of my problems would disappear and I wouldn't have to make tough decisions but I found out some days ago after lifting my head from the cool sands of delusion and jumping off the fence of indecision, I had to take the bulls by the horns and severe ties to certain people and relationships. From then, I found a sense of liberty that can only compare to discovering that I am number one on God's list of priorities (always has been, always will be) and only in that moment did I find my true self.
I underwent a kind of rite, a rite of passage to be precise and....away from my shoulders fell the burden of pretense by people I had grown up knowing, people who ate at my table, back stabbed me with such grandiose and even tried to clone my talent (albeit unsuccessfully). I fell out of love with people who used me, sapped my emotional and mental strength and tried to sugar coat their words of hate. I broke free of double speakers (the ones who converse lovingly with you in English and bring you down in their native dialects at the same time). I put an end to the debacle of friendship with people who were enemies in every sense of the word. I knew it was time, time to set on that wonderful path meant for ME.

Didn't I always know? Sho'nuff I did but like I said, I buried my head deep deep down in the sand, hoping that maybe, just maybe, love would make it better. I thought that maybe if I sat on that fence longer, the "peace" would make up for the deception. Now I see how wrong I was, how mistaken I had always been. Now? I am absolutely free, free as a bird. Taking on the skies and knowing it is just my starting place. I lean on the wind of an All Powerful, All Seeing God. In this flight, I am light and burden free. I am picking up speed and gaining momentum......AT LAST!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...